Why every hypebeast wants to look exactly like hidden.ny
Unless you’ve actually been out on the streets of New York, Los Angeles, Paris, Milan, or Tokyo and not endlessly scrolling and mindlessly liking and commenting on the most influential instagram page in all of hype cyberspace then maybe you don’t know who hidden.ny is.
Come to think of it, even if you like every recycled picture of Nike SB Dunks, KAWS toys, Bape stuff, Nike SB Dunks, Yeezys, Daniel Arsham art, more Nike SB Dunks, Pharrell, Jordans, and Nike SB Dunks again, you still don’t know who hidden.ny is. Imagine being heralded as a style god, a legend, a receiver of fire emojis and “so fire” comments without ever having to put together one fit. It seems that almost 500,000 followers still can’t see that the emperor’s new clothes weren’t designed by Virgil, Kim Jones, or Supreme. Dude is naked my guy, no drip with nothing but big trick energy.
Hidden.ny is not a businessman he’s a business man. Actually he is a business because he isn’t actually a man in any real sense of the word. Well, he is a man on instagram, just not in real life, although I’m sure he can fly a helicopter and knows kung-fu in the matrix. Hidden.ny is the ultimate in inclusivity. The generation where everything is for everyone, participation trophies abound, and everyone is special. Hidden.ny even allows his followers to create all of his designs and then allows them to buy them from him without having to worry about needing some hidden bot to cop your, I mean his designs. He is of the people and for the people. He even sells his followers insider information through a subscription for those who just don’t have the time to leave instagram and trudge through Google.
Imagine a culture based on shopping. Shoppers gonna shop, resellers gonna resell, and hidden is gonna repost. Look at all hidden.ny has created or should I say curated, co-opted, , hooked and crooked.He has not only put his followers work on t-shirts and hoodies but he has put his “h” logo on socks, Nike AF1’s and even Clarks Wallabees. I am absolutely sure there are resellers using their hoard and overprice tactic money to prepare to purchase the first hidden.ny NFT in the near future.
This truly is an almost Disney princess-like story. Hidden.ny gets a DM from Drake, a goat, not the goat but a goat because we can clearly all be the greatest of all time, am I right? Anyway, Hidden gives Drake a list of what to buy on Grailed, another iconic fashion site built on reselling, and Drake bought all of it. And so was born Hidden’s calling, telling or showing people what he would buy but didn’t and posting what you should buy but can’t.It doesn’t seem to be about rhyme or reason or putting a plan together, its more of that old hypebeast and pokemon mantra, gotta catch or in this case, cop em all. If only I had the right bot and a trust fund.
You should all thank hidden.ny for making things so easy. You don’t know what’s cool? Scroll back 21 hidden posts, if you see something 4 or more times you can get likes for adding it to your next fit pic, you’re welcome.If you ever miss a hypebeast post don’t fret, highsnobiety will rewrite and repost each and every luxe brand collab and hype sneaker release on their timeline. And, if you ever find yourself needing to sound informed on Clubhouse you can always look to hidden acolyte Samutauro to mansplain everything from the influence of Pharrell in skateboarding to race and socioeconomic issues facing black America. Think Brookings Institution for hypebeasts.
There is a classic skateboarding video from the iconic Powell Peralta featuring the legendary Bones Brigade, “The Search For Animal Chin”. While the journey allowed our heroes the time to explore, reflect, and meditate on their love of skateboarding they never did find him. But then they asked themselves, was that even the point? There were photos of Animal Chin so you’d know him if you did indeed find him. Unfortunately, Hidden.ny has no photos anywhere. Sure he posts photos of all the usual fashion suspects and all of the hype things that are coveted by “the culture.” But the mystery remains and the blind followers hang on every caption and photo. Every sneaker a must cop, every fit is fire, somehow there are now 500 holy grails, and three goats every week, yes, you too can be a millionaire.
So if you’re stuck in the middle of nowhere and never been to SoHo, walked down Fairfax, and don’t even have a passport, just know that you don’t need to. You can create it all in your head and then project it on instagram.The Wizard of OZ wasn’t reprimanded for being a phony charlatan by his many followers, no, he weaseled his way out of his promises and made his getaway while his victims smiled and waved. This is instagram, this is the way. In this OZ, everybody can be a wizard, just post lots of pics of Dorothy in those red slippers. Somewhere over the rainbow, you too can be an influencer.
